Part 3: Laying the Foundation for a Life You Love

If Part 1 was about hitting rock bottom, and Part 2 was about sorting through the mess…

Part 3 is about what comes next — the building.

And spoiler alert:

The “building” phase is not a glamorous HGTV-style montage where your life transforms in 3 minutes with a cute soundtrack.

It’s messy.

It’s awkward.

It’s equal parts “hell yes” and “what the actual hell am I doing?”

Step 1: Get Clear on What’s Yours

When you’ve lived in survival mode for decades, you start to confuse who you are with what you’ve survived.

Therapy taught me this truth:

If I wanted a life I actually loved, I had to decide what was truly mine — my values, my dreams, my goals — and strip away all the stuff I carried just because someone else handed it to me.

That meant asking myself the hard questions:

Do I actually want this, or was I told I should want it?

Does this feel good to my soul, or just “safe” to my fear?

Am I choosing this because it’s mine… or because it keeps the peace?

Sometimes the answers gutted me. Sometimes they freed me. Often, they did both.

Step 2: Build Boundaries Like Your Life Depends On It

Because it does.

Boundaries aren’t walls to keep people out — they’re gates that let the right people in.

And let me tell you… learning to say “no” without writing a 4-paragraph apology afterward?

That was a whole era for me.

Now I have boundaries around:

My time ⏳ — if it doesn’t align with my goals or values, I’m not available.

My body 🩷 — what I feed it, how I move it, and who has the privilege of touching it.

My peace 🌿 — if it costs me my sanity, it’s too expensive.

Step 3: Create Daily Non-Negotiables

Not the Pinterest-perfect kind — the real-life, “this keeps me from losing my damn mind” kind.

Mine look like:

Morning gratitude before my feet hit the floor

Moving my body in ways that feel good (sometimes it’s the gym, sometimes it’s yoga in my living rooo, and sometimes its working my second job - because that brings me joy and movement).

Saying “I love you” to my kids and Gypsy Princess

Praying for my kids, Gypsy Princess, my family, friends, and our nation every day.

Learning to fuel my body with nutrition that it actually needs, and now wants!

These small, consistent acts became the scaffolding that held me up while I rebuilt.

Step 4: Give Yourself Permission to Be Seen

This one? Brutal.

Because hiding feels safe.

But the truth is — you cannot build a life you love while pretending to be someone else.

You have to let yourself be seen in all your messy, imperfect glory.

For me, that meant sharing my story publicly. It meant showing up without a filter — not because I don’t care what people think, but because I care more about the women who need to know they’re not alone.

Step 5: Let Joy In

After years of pain, joy feels almost… suspicious.

Like, “Wait, this is for me? Are you sure?”

But I’ve learned that joy is not a luxury — it’s medicine.

And the more I let it in, the stronger I get.

💬 Over to You:

If you’re in the rebuild, don’t wait for the “perfect moment” to start living like you love yourself.

Start now.

With one boundary. One daily non-negotiable. One moment of joy.

Because the life you love isn’t built in one leap — it’s built one unapologetic choice at a time.