Part 4: Reclaiming My Sensuality, My Confidence, and My Fire
- Regina Cooley
- Aug 18
- 4 min read
For a long time, my body didn’t feel like mine.
It felt like something to hide.
To punish.
To survive in.
And when you live there long enough, you start to believe your body is the enemy — or worse, just a container for all the bad memories.
But here’s the thing nobody told me about self-love:
If you do the work long enough, it doesn’t just make you like yourself more…
It makes you want to live more authentically.
From Invisible to Seen (and Sizzling)
When I started this journey, I wasn’t thinking about reclaiming my sensuality. I was thinking about surviving.
But little by little, the more I respected my body — feeding it better, moving it because it felt good, letting it rest when it needed to — the more I realized:
This body is mine.
This life is mine.
And damn it, I get to enjoy them both.
But I couldn't seem to get there on my own. Every time I looked in the mirror I heard and saw the version of me my ex painted me to be. A whale, a pig, unlovable, and unattractive (until, of course, he wanted something)..
The Boudoir Shoot That Changed Everything
Yup.
At around 290 lbs, I stood in front of a camera in lingerie — not as a “before” picture, but to see myself through someone else's lens, literally!
I needed that outside view, to get to see that:
I am sexy now.
I am vivacious now.
I am worthy now.
No waiting for a goal weight. No shrinking myself to fit some societal checklist.
When I saw those photos, I didn’t just see curves and satin.
I saw a woman who had been to hell and back, who still knew how to smirk at the camera like she owned the room.
And for the first time in forever… I believed her.
Dani Rawson, girl you gave me the most beautiful gift!
Meet the woman who allowed me to see me again - for the first time!
And the woman who made sure I saw that? Saw myself as sexy and sultry, as a feminine work of God's art... no matter my weight, no matter my clothing size. The one, and only. Dani Rawson.
Dani Rawson — a photographer with a gift for showing women who they truly are. She refused to Photoshop anything other than the bruise I had on my knee from a dog fight. She told me I needed to see all of me, exactly as the world sees me. And she was right. When I looked at those photos, I didn’t just see curves and satin— I saw me. A woman who had been to hell and back, who still knew how to smirk at the camera like she owned the room.
Dani gave me the first real look at myself — not the version I thought the world wanted, but the woman who had been there all along. And I can’t wait to do another shoot with her in the future.
And if you have always thought you wanted to do one... DO IT!!!!!
You know, looking back at these photos today, my only regret is not doing it sooner!
The Truth About Sensuality
We’ve been fed this idea that sensuality is about someone else’s approval.
Nah.
Sensuality is how you inhabit your own skin.
For me, it’s:
Letting music move through me like no one’s watching (okay, real talk, I still won't dance in front of people, but in the privacy of my home or car... game on)
Wearing fabrics that feel decadent on my skin, even if I’m just home with Gypsy
Speaking my desires out loud without shame or apology
Choosing who gets access to that side of me — and being perfectly happy if the answer is “no one right now”
Why This Matters in the Rebuild
Because self-love without embodiment is just theory.
It’s when you actually live in your body — fully, freely, without apology — that you know you’re no longer just surviving.
It’s about reclaiming joy, pleasure, confidence… all the things that were stripped away by trauma, abuse, or shame.
It’s about saying:
“I am more than what happened to me. And I will not dim my light to make anyone else comfortable.”
Reclaiming my sensuality wasn’t about a man, a camera, or even the lingerie.
It was about reclaiming me.
It’s walking into a room knowing I belong there — whether I’m in a cocktail dress or sweatpants.
It’s looking in the mirror and seeing a woman who fought like hell for her freedom and still has the audacity to flirt with life.
It’s refusing to edit myself down to fit anyone else’s comfort zone.
Self-love is about so much more than candles and bubble baths. It’s about embodiment.
It’s about deciding that you deserve to feel joy, pleasure, and pride in your own skin — not someday, but now.
And if that makes someone uncomfortable?
Well… maybe they should ask themselves why a woman living fully is so threatening.
💬 Over to You:
When was the last time you felt truly alive in your own skin?
Not for a partner. Not for the camera. Just for you.
If it’s been a while, here’s your permission slip:
Turn on a song that makes you feel like fire.
Move your body.
Remind yourself — this is yours.
Coming in Part 5: The Power of Not Knowing It All
Here’s the truth:
This rebuild didn’t happen in a vacuum. I didn’t wake up one day with all the answers and a perfectly curated self-love routine.
Hell no.
I had to admit where I was lost.
Where I didn’t have the tools.
And then — I went out and found the people who did.
In Part 5, we’re talking about the unapologetic power of hiring professionals, learning from others, and surrounding yourself with voices that lift you higher — whether they’re in a therapy chair, on a podcast, or in the pages of a book.
Cheers,
Regina
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